When I was younger, friends would often ask me, given my love of space, if I was going to apply to be an astronaut. I did once when I was 24—knowing that the physical requirements alone would keep me from getting accepted. But, while in the real world the space shuttle was awesome, and the ISS is a fascinating orbiting laboratory, what I really want is to spend some time on a spaceship.
It’s been a lifelong dream to take a ride on the Millennium Falcon. Or the Enterprise D. (Sorry… I love all of Trek and all the ships, but if I was visiting one, NCC-1701D has a Holodeck and Ten Forward. D is my first choice. It wins as a place to spend a week of my precious vacation time.)
So for those of you working on starship design, hoping to attract space tourists such as myself, who would be one if it became practical and affordable, please make sure to include the following in your spaceship design (or have it installed after market…)
1. Coffee.
I need real, good, rich, bold, hot coffee. We know that coffee just doesn’t brew well in low pressure conditions. If you live in Colorado, for example, you know what I mean. Especially if you moved to CO from somewhere along the coast at sea level and brought your coffee maker with you, even if you’re using the same coffee beans or grounds, you’ll notice a difference.
Not only is the pressure on today’s space vessels slightly lower than on Earth, but the lack of gravity also causes unique challenges: https://www.startrek.com/news/how-scientists-answered-the-demands-for-coffee-in-space
This is such a big deal that NASA is also on the case: https://science.nasa.gov/science-news/science-at-nasa/2015/10jul_spacecoffee
Momma needs her morning cup of java. Or three.
2. A viewing area.
I want to see stars, planets, and anything else really cool that we might pass by. And I’m going to need a tour guide. Make sure there’s some kind of ship-wide announcement or something if we’re coming up on an asteroid or a visible nebula.
I mean, after the fact, they even installed a Cupola on the ISS—surviving budget cuts. People need to see outside.
Every engineering project goes through some budget cuts. Something inevitably costs more than expected, so something has to get cut somewhere else. Don’t let that be your viewing area. (There were originally supposed to be two Cupola’s on the ISS, but they downsized to one. I’m sure every astronaut on board is thankful that at least one survived.)
3. Entertainment.
I’m easy to get along with when it comes to entertainment. A holosuite is nice, but I am okay with a Zero-G gym and some simple games. I mean, take advantage of the fact that we’re in space and there are simply going to be things I can’t do planet-side. 3D chess is fun, but I can play that here at home.
Check out Space Games Federation for ideas.
4. A helpful clothing packing list.
Or just give me the standard non-flattering jumpsuit everyone else is wearing. Again, I’m pretty easy and just don’t want to be the odd person out dressed in Earth clothes when everyone is wearing space attire or vice versa. I mean, if I take a cruise out at sea, I’m told when I need to dress up for dinner. Same concept applies.
If I was a fashionista, I would follow these people who are already tackling the ‘what not to wear’ problem of non-Earth fashion: https://fashionunited.com/news/culture/what-will-humans-wear-on-mars/2019101830482
5. I want to talk to the ship’s computer.
Of course I don’t need access to any sensitive systems. I don’t want to be responsible for unintentionally diverting our course or dumping the warp core accidentally. But I would like to be able to ask where we are, how far we are from Earth, what time it is, and when is everyone gathering in the rec room to collectively watch Galaxy Quest.
I mean, right now I can ask Alexa things like: “Where is the ISS?” (with the special Space Station skill). If I can do that from my living room right now, certainly I should be able to do something similar from my on-board cabin. (Incidentally, Alexa just told me that it’s currently at about 0 latitude and 100degW longitude—somewhere over the Pacific ocean.)
6. Engineering manuals and a tour of the ship.
Yeah, I’m the geeky traveler and expect there to be a little brochure that tells me the major features of your spaceship. not a detailed engineering schematic, but a map that says “You are here!” and shows me where the bathroom is. Okay, I want a little more than that. I want the overview of the engine specs, and maybe a little history of how and where the spaceship was developed would be nice. (And yes, I’m that person who looks for that stuff when I get on an airplane… “Oooo! This is the model 320 and not the 300?”)
I also expect there to be a full emergency evacuation training simulation. I’ve never been in an EVA suit before and I hope that they’re designed for easy access. Unless abandoning ship means we get stuffed into life pods. Either way, I expect clear emergency instructions.
7. Finally, I want some souvenirs.
Make sure you get my picture and sell it back to me. I want a mission patch on everything. Obviously, there needs to be a gift shop or a way for me to order stuff from my cabin. SpaceMall anyone?. Of course, all of it is duty-free.
Of course, I’ll have wonderful memories for the rest of my life and chances are I would have taken pictures of everything possible. Selfies outside the engineering area, or while playing space basketball (probably the only time I could bring myself to play. I’m not good at those kinds of sports in 1-G).
Remember that word of mouth goes along way, so I’ll be telling everyone about my experience on your ship, and probably blogging about it, too. If that isn’t a thinly veiled attempt to get any perks while aboard, I don’t know what is!
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