This is the 4th and final article in the series that came from a conversation I had with Dr. Lawrence M. Schoen of the Klingon Language Institute about the language, culture, and more. (Read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.) Here, I started off with some random questions to see where it took us… what I learned is that maybe I’ve been Klingon all along!

Adeena: Who’s your favorite Klingon?

Lawrence: Oh, well, I’m biased. I’m going to change your question to, “Who’s my favorite Klingon actor?” And I would say J.G. Hertzler, who played General Martok, because he’s an amazing character actor. And he has a great voice. Years after DS9, when I sold a novel to Tor Books, I wanted to try to bridge or connect the two groups that I’m known by, as a science fiction author on the one hand, and a Klingon speaker on the other. I was able to get J.G. to do the audio book. He had never done audio books before—which I found amazing because his voice is phenomenal. He did the audio books for both of my novels with Tor. It didn’t bring any Klingon speakers to my science fiction, but I’m very proud that he did it. And it was great getting to know J.G. a little bit better.

That said, I’ve had the great good fortune to meet a huge number of Star Trek actors over the years. There was a time when I was doing conventions, multiple conventions every year. One time I got on the boat and went to sea with a bunch of them. There was a great deal of license there because I wasn’t a celebrity, so, the fans left me alone. But I wasn’t one of the fans, so, the celebrities would hang with me. And that was great. You know, Star Trek has taken me to multiple countries and places I never expected visit on my own, and people I’d never see. It has been a wild ride.

Adeena: What is your favorite Klingon dish?

Lawrence: My favorite Klingon dish? Well, sometimes you have to approximate, right?

Adeena: Sure!

Lawrence: There is a terrestrial dish called “okonomiyaki.” And one of the things that is on the top of okonomiyaki are razor thin shaved pieces of fish, dried fish. When you serve okonomiyaki, the heat from the dish causes these razor thin little tiny pieces to waiver—like they’re alive! And that always makes me think of Klingon food.

But there’s also the Klingon dish Heart of Targ. It was a few years ago, I was at a convention out in California, and an author there took my wife and I to this little hole-in-the-wall Spanish restaurant. I had beef heart for the first time. It was extraordinary! I’ve had some really bad beef hearts since, but that first one was extraordinary. I like to think that Heart to Targ would be like that—maybe a little better. And then, of course, Klingons are very fond of chocolate.

Adeena: Really? You know, now that I think of it, I do have the original book and there was an expression for the back of it that I think I remember…

Lawrence: Useful expressions in Klingon. “Where do you keep the chocolate?” Yes.

Adeena: Let me see if I remember it without having the book in front of me, “Nook nek dack yooch dapol?”

[Adeena’s Note: That’s a phonetic representation of what I said out loud. The actual phrase is: “nuqDaq yuch Dapol” which, according to the dictionary, is pronounced: NOOK-dak yooch da-POL]

Lawrence: Pretty close!

Lawrence: yuch. yuch is a good word. It has a lot of good mouthfeel and that’s the word for chocolate.

[Adeena’s Note: “yuch” sounds to me a lot like the English word “huge” with a lot of emphasis on the vowel sound. You can hear it here: http://klingon.wiki/Word/Yuch ]

Adeena: See, now that I know that’s Klingon’s favorite, maybe they are my new favorite people.

Lawrence: They don’t apologize. They say what’s on their minds, and they want chocolate!

Adeena: I want chocolate, too. And I rarely apologize. Maybe I’ve actually been Klingon all my life… and I’m just finding out now…

Lawrence: You could have been orphaned and taken in by a well-intentioned human family…

Adeena: Well, what would you say to people who are thinking about or just learning about the KLI? What would you say to them to encourage them to join?

Lawrence: I’d say there is no better time! Because there are more speakers now than ever! Next summer will be our 29th annual live convention, or conference, where Klingon speakers from around the world gather. We’ve been doing it so long, it’s one like a family reunion. I’ve known these people for 30 years and it’s extraordinary. Some people say, “Well, it sounds great, Lawrence, but I barely speak any Klingon and I know it’d be wasted on me.” My reply is, “On the contrary, this is close to immersion as you’re ever going to get, and  your command of language in general and Klingon specific will have been elevated so far by the experience.” At that point, we usually have you for life. I would encourage people to avail themselves of these tools and join us.

The KLI was among the first organizations to have a website simply because we were around before there were websites. Which is why we have such a short web address, because you could pick and choose back then, KLI.org — it doesn’t get much shorter than that. We have so much content that’s out there for free. And a little bit more for members. But most of it’s free, I mean, 10s of thousands of webpages that have been developed. It’s a little daunting at first. But we also offer online courses. And in fact, one of the things you can work toward is certification of your studies in Klingon. We’re currently partnering with Duolingo to align their Klingon  course  with our certification courses. That way as people complete the Duolingo course, they can then be certified in different roles of Klingon proficiency. I’d say there’s no greater time!

Thank you, Lawrence, for that wonderful conversation. As a lifelong Star Trek fan, I love that there is still a lot to learn about the different facets of the show and I love to hear the stories from everyone who has been involved in all sorts of ways.

My final note: I have since become a KLI member and am working my way through the Duolingo course as well! Qapla’.